Add journal-013

content/journal/013/index.md

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+---
+title: journal-013
+date: 2025-07-12
+banner: river.jpg
+---
+
+Life is slipping through my fingers like water. I feel myself pulling myself down again. I know how to swim, how to stay afloat, but I can't see land.
+
+But I know I've been here before. Like a Final Destination main character, I can tell the signs of the current carrying me away and the hopelessness creeping in. I just need to swim sideways.
+
+„But what if there is no land?“, I ask myself. „Or only islands, damning me to waste away forever?“
+
+Well, in that case, I'll be the main character in my own movie. But I know there is land. I've been there before.
+
+---
+
+I need to get up early again so I can enjoy going to the gym again.
+
+---
+
+I dreamed I was a Russian undercover agent and there was an accident. A nuke went off in a secret underground vault, and I had to investigate and make sure it stays a secret. U.S. military personnel was also investigating though.
+
+The conditions were claustrophobic.
+
+---
+
+My iCloud storage is 88% full. I didn't know I was using it. That reminds me that I don't want to run (multiple) servers anymore. I want to minimize my digital footprint. My digital life is also slipping through my fingers?
+
+---
+
+I should join a chess club.
+
+{{< figure src="/chess.png" caption="I’ve been climbing the ladder to almost 1k MMR since May. Is that when I started opening with the King’s Indian?" >}}